Hi ho, hi ho

I've now been back to work for fifteen days. I was absolutely dreading going back to work with every fiber of my being. I was honestly terrified that I wouldn't be able to do it. I would give anything to be able to stay at home at least part of the day, but this has been somewhat manageable. The first day actually went really well. It was sort of nice to put on nice clothes and to get myself out and about to somewhere besides Target. I really missed Spencer, and of course felt tremendous guilt for leaving her, but the day went by really quickly. Getting ready in the morning was very easy because Wes was staying home with her and he took care of everything. My coworkers were so good to me. One of them had written a welcome back note on my whiteboard, and one of my new team members brought me a "Welcome Back" balloon. They all brought smiles and hugs to me. I could not do this job without the wonderful women who work with me. Wes and Spencer left flowers and a card for me in the office. My mom and my sister sent flowers to me also. My brother and sister both sent encouraging text messages to me.
I left work as soon as I possibly could, and it was so nice to get to see Wes and Spencer after a long day. We've really gotten a good schedule at night, and things run pretty smoothly. I feel like I am more organized now than I was before I had a baby. I am extremely blessed to have the most amazing husband who takes perfect care of me and Spencer. He does so much more than I do, and he has to take Spencer to daycare and pick her up almost everyday. He has made this so much easier on me.
I am amazed at God's hand constantly over me. Only God could have made this transition as smooth as it has been. I imagined that I would be sobbing every day that I went to work. There is no way that I could be this much at peace with it on my own. I am so grateful that he has held this burden for me. I still have days when I do break down because I missed my baby or because I'm exhausted, but there are also days when I actually see positive benefits of working. That in itself is a miracle!